Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
