your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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