the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
