I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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