It was confusing and full of hummus
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
