Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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