Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
