Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
