i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I don't deserve a penis
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
