she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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