We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
