You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Bring me that man meat
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
