I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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