Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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