If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
