she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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