She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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