How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
birth control should be required to get into college
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
