carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
