dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
