It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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