i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
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