i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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