I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
God I need to hump something, right now.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
