No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
