Since when is my name a synonym for head?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
