Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
