You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
