Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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