Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
