Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
