the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
