There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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