Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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