How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
