Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
