I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
