I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
