that's an acceptable place to lick
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
