My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
