it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
