my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Come see our sink grown plant.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Randomize
