My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
