i don't like sucking hair
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Ladies don't puke and tell
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
