I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
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