Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
