It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
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