Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
