East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
