But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
