yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize
