You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I don't deserve a penis
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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