i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
