Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
