So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
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