is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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