I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
