that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Randomize
