The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
